Knock down fear

All of you must have made plans at some or the other time about the itsy-bitsy details of your lives. I am sure, life at some or the other point popped your bubble of planning because, heyo, who says life will follow your plans? It always does planning for you even before you plan for yourself. I am sure that your planning process at some or the other point made us feel like perfectionists who just found a plan to fulfill all our dreams and touch the stars.

Wait! I have one unread message!

“Hello there, champ! Congratulations! I see, you finally planned something for yourself. Just popped up to remind you that you totally forgot that to make those plans work and to achieve your dreams you need to take some steps. Just a reminder- this won’t be as easy as it seems. In front of you will stand your biggest barrier, your fear.”

With love,

Life”

Wouldn’t all this be a cakewalk if life could just send a message to us about everything? All of us have the line dark ke aage jeet hai on our tips. Did you ever try to apply it to your life? EVER? Rare are those who face their fears and come out with flying colours. They are those who know that success lies just outside our comfort zones. They have the courage to face the fear for their thirst for success is greater than any fear they have. Yes, you heard it right, it takes courage. Have it?

We fear because we are human, otherwise we would have been God! There are as many fears as the number of people on Earth. There are as many fears as the number of opinions those billions of people have. We all are surrounded by some or the other kind of those countless fear. Be it that of rejection, acceptance, societal burden, parental or peer pressure. The list goes on. I would say fear is our mind’s favorite game and tackling it is nothing less than a mind game.

(F)orget (E)verything (A)nd (R)un or (F)orget (E)verything (A)nd (R)ejoice – the choice is yours!

Most of us will decide to run away from it than face it but before you choose to run away, let me just remind you that our life is a result of our choices so make the right ones. Choose to face fear and success will be yours, chose to run away from it and success will run away from you. What doesn’t break you makes you stronger. Rest assured that your facing your fear wont break you, running away from it will. You are one decision away from a different life, from a successful life. Have the courage and make that decision today. If not now, it will be never,

Choose to be a kickass and let fear fear that you don’t fear fear. Kudos to courage! Knock your fear down before it knocks your door.

Advertisements

Misery of an overly attached soul

‘OVER-ATTACHMENT’ – I’m waiting for the day when a doctor will diagnose me with this.  This might not be a regular disease but life with this is nothing less than a suffering.  You, the overly detached or the cautiously attached may kick us away or stab us a hundred times but we will be there for you the moment you need us.  This isn’t what one should be doing or how one should be living but we do it, ALL THE TIME. The result?  Pieces of heart lying all around which we have to pick up and place together as one.

I am one of the overly attached to the severely detached or the cautiously attached.  We are a special breed. Some of us might never say to you that hey there, you mean to us. This is because we ourselves at times don’t realise this.  Realisation hits us the moment a gap hits our bonds. During the days when we don’t get to talk to you, see you, our symptoms of over attachment surface. Your absence hits us hard and that makes us realise the value (it’s overrated) of your presence.

Trust us that nobody, and by nobody I mean NOBODY understands you better or notices you more than us. We know exactly what kind of face you love to make while taking your selfies, we know the glitter in your eyes when you talk about your passion, we know that one dress which you absolutely love, we know when you start walking away from us, we know when you begin to replace us, WE KNOW IT ALL. Chances are that you might never have shared these details with us in person but we know it because we notice you THIS CLOSE.

We give away a part of us to all those whom we love and there can be nothing worse than this because some of us do expect to get a little back and when we don’t, it hurts.

 When we are lying there at the floor at 3:00 a.m and are crying so hard,  that we can’t even properly breathe, we expect to be cared for, we expect to be loved atleast by those for whom we care. Yes, we have our set of expectations but yeah who says expectations are meant to be fulfilled? We need constant reminders that this world isn’t that shitty and we are doing fine and it will all be good.   Nothing hurts more than crying your heart out and realising nobody gives a damn. You might not but we will do it for you, be it any time of the day or any time of the night, if you need us, if you need to be told you are loved, cared for, trust us, we will do it ANYTIME. Does a little bit of reciprocation kill? 

A bit of attachment is fine but not over attachment. Self attachment and worldly detachment is a lesson for all to learn. Feel blessed if you aren’t one overly attached soul.  Feel blessed for we know what you have and we don’t. When it comes to this, your grass is much more green than ours.  No doubts in that.

I am my own poetic misery.

I am an overly attached soul.

 

 

Swinging through life

Do we remember how one day back in time we were shown a road and were told to walk on it. Before we could begin our journey, we were told to look straight so that we could see the shining light at the end of the road. That light, we were told it is called success and that is where we had to reach, all of us had to reach. As the child we were, we accepted it and began walking.

It seemed like one of the swings. Initially, we had the confidence that just like always we will be held if we fall down. One day, the swing began to tremble, we began to lose balance. That was the first day we looked back and realised we had come so far that nobody could help us now. We learnt we had to help ourselves. We gathered a little confidence and tried to maintain balance. Later, when we were no more a child and it was no more a swing, the road started shaking again. We looked around and realised that it wasn’t shaking for everybody. Some were walking easily. We realised, in childhood we were never told that we could choose the swing we wanted to ride on. That day, it dawned upon us that we did want to ride but not this swing. That shining light, it no more appeared attractive. The shine coming from it started to burn our eyes. It wasn’t what we wanted. That day, was our biggest test. Some of us majorly failed in it because we could no more gather the courage to get up one more time and start walking again. We chose to rather fall off the swing. And others, they died within yet lived for the world because they accepted that this is how is how it is. This is how it was meant to be. They slogged all through their life.

Today, nobody from these two categories of people is worshipped. The world bows before those who were told they could choose the swing they wanted to ride on. They are the only ones who made it.

Learning lies beyond

Born into a well off family, fed with a golden spoon, brought up in the best of the conditions possible, given the best possible educational exposure.  Isn’t this how most of you reading this would describe your life? I’m sure you would. Till today, I would too.  Today was different.   It made me feel that the version of life we are living is life as we choose to live it, our self made reality, not what it actually is. We might learn, but is that the actual learning?  Most of us, including me lay far away from what the reality is.

Today, thanks to assignments, I visited Chandani Chowk and Azadpur area for the first time! Yes, first time! There, constant thoughts came running to my mind. For instance, books may tell you ample facts about slum areas and the people there but till the time we actually step out and visit the slums and talk to the residents, we can’t say that we know anything about it. Having read about them and today getting to talk to a few of them, I can easily say that books can take you closer to reality  but exploration is the only thing which will help you see reality better.  What a simple chat with them can help you learn, a book won’t. I’m not anti-reading. Read but do explore. Reading in stories about unemployed people spending their day playing cards and actually seeing them sit under a bridge and do that is an altogether different experience. Will you chit-chat with friends over text or commute with them in a metro discussing about everything ranging from their school experiences, to their families,to marriages, to acquaintances and so on leading to some shared smiles? I bet, once you experience the second, you will never crave for the first. Learning isn’t reading or listening about the shops in places like Chandani Chowk, learning is setting out there on the road, walking under extreme sunlight and yet searching for what you want from n number of shops there.  Learning isn’t ordering something online.  Learning is using your skills and convincing the shopkeeper to sell the good to you at a little less price. Learning isn’t just listening from people that you need to keep a check at your stuff while you roam around in Chandani Chowk. Learning is roaming around there for the first time holding your bag close to your body and your fear close to your heart.

Learning is coming back home realising that a lot of time has passed since you actually learnt something.  Learning is coming back home realising that you  have wrongly defined learning all these years. Learning is coming back home realising that you need to stop learning and start exploring.  There can be no better learning than that.

 

 

 

 

Emotional people “Don’t” lead a better life

P.S – I came across a post which claimed that we, the emotional ones lead a better life.  Here’s my take on why I don’t agree with it.

Our life is a result of the choices we make or those we don’t.  Our tragedy is that we are born with a mind and a heart. If there would have been either the mind or the heart, life would have been easier.  I completely believe in the fact that being emotional or having emotions is one major trait which separates human beings from others.  I think we are not being true to our job of being a human being if we don’t put our emotions out there in the open.  But then, putting yourself emotionally out there messes up life big time.

If you are emotional it doesn’t mean that you are constantly evolving.  Yes I agree that we are more aware of our feelings but then according to me, evolving while being emotional takes a hell lot of a courage because these days being emotional is enough of a trait to create a life full of mess but to learn from that mess and still hold your own demands courage. Not every emotional person has this courage.  It’s easier said than done.

Analysing stuff more intimately and making sure nobody is hurt is something which runs in our blood. We try to reach a common ground between our mind and our heart and that messes it up more because, my friend, when in the history of mankind did  the mind and the heart said the same thing? That’s the game. They never say the same point.  Logical people know the art of keeping in control their mind as well as the heart.  They know when they need their mind’s advice and when they need their heart’s help.  We don’t know this art and that sums up another point.

Yes,  we do have a strong gut instinct. Stronger than the instincts of  many out there.  But then, training your mind to listen to your gut feeling is a task in itself.  How does it feel when you know you are sure about something but still you act unsure because you always fear that what if that surity feeling isn’t true and thus many of us decide to not go by it.

We love to walk the extra mile for our loved ones in all our relationships.  The emotional investment we make in all our relationships is high.  We can easily be the more patient, the more considerate one but then there are many people who take this attitude for granted. Not everyone feels lucky to have us around. To know that you are being taken for granted and still care is the worst feeling ever.

The world says, ” the more you feel, the more conscious you become of everything around you.” I say, the more you feel, the more you worsen it for yourself because not all those around you feel as intensely as you.  Not everyone has a heart similar to yours.  In today’s world, beware before you feel and if you still want to, make sure you use your mind to feel as well as think and let heart do it’s biological job and nothing else.

We wear our hearts on our sleeves and that’s the best part about us. Not everyone can do that.  It takes guts to be hurt and still care.  It takes guts to keep your ego aside and bend for the sake of the relationship.

To conclude, I would say, either be emotional or don’t be.  If you are, then make sure “tu faltu emotional ho rha hai/rhi hai” is the best compliment you can ever get.

If you live by your emotions, learn to take it all that comes your way in the best spirit possible because the roller coaster will always move a little faster for you.  😉

The memories truck

The truck filled with memories stands at my door. Memories, some made due to destiny and some others by choice. I wonder, will I ever be able to unload the truck? Can any of us ever do this? May be that’s how it’s meant to be with us. We can only fill the truck with more and more and never be able to unload it.

That’s how the memory game is played. Once experienced, they are a part of who we are, etched in us until eternity. Even if we want to I don’t think we can wash out a memory completely. Something will always be there. If not the words, then may be the feelings. If not those people, then may be the lesson they taught us. A part of it always stays with us.

Like every game, the memory game has it’s twists too. We call them days and dates. This day last year, this day last month, this day years ago… This vicious cycle is what is needed to be broken for us to emerge victorious. What happened, happened. Those happenings stay in our past and we move to the present. This is how it should be but it doesn’t really happen. All of us at some points get stuck in this cycle thereby creating the perfect mix of a messed up past and present leading to a disastrous future. For some of us this is our favourite dish and we love to splurge on it.

So as to make you realise that it’s easier said than done, I must confess that even as I write this I’m thinking about this date last month. 😛 Oh, memories.

Oh, wasn’t the truck waiting at the door to be unloaded? Well, this wait will have to continue till the time we learn to learn from the memories. That day, I might not be able to unload the memories, but I’ll surely unload lifelong lessons.

Time to shut the door and let the truck wait 🙂

मुलाकात

तुम्हारे पास से गुज़र रहा था तो सोचा मिल लेता हूँ। कल की तरह, आज भी चल दिया तुम्हारे आशियाने की ओर। पहुँचा तो देखा दरवाज़ा खुला था और तुम आज भी खिड़की के पास बैठे कहीं खोए हुए थे। कुछ देर तुम्हारे सामने यह आस लगाए बैठा रहा कि तुम अपनी दुनिया से बाहर निकलोगे तो खुशी से मेरा स्वागत करोगे। लेकिन ऐसा हुआ नहीं। तुम्हें कुछ करीब से देखा तो एक आँसू बहता दिखा। मुझसे खफा थे तो डांट लेते, पास ही तो बैठा था। क्या कुछ कहना चाहते थे? बोला क्यों नहीं। कभी दोस्त समझकर मुझसे भी बातें करना, वादा रहा, निराश नहीं करूँगा।

बीते कल में कब कोई अपना घर बसा पायाा?

सामने देख, समय नए रूप में है लौटकर आया।

बस फिर उसी समय वहाँ से चल दिया, ना जाने किस ओरम। सोचा, जो खुशी से पुकार लेगा उसके घर चल दूँगा। एक खत लिखकर वहाँ तुम्हारे पास रख दिया था। आशा करता हूँ तुमने पढ़ा होगा।

“कल एक नए रूप में फिर दसतक दूँगा। आशा है कि पहचान लोगे और स्वागत करोगे।”
– समय

The lost identity

Identity. When this word comes to your mind, where do your thoughts go? Who are you? Someone’s son, someone’s daughter and so on! A male or a female! A person persuing a particular degree which will further lead to a particular life! Ever thought who are you beyond how the world defines you?

The day we are born we fit into a particular definition set by the society for us. The relation with the family we are born in define us. Our gender defines us. The big question still looms over our head. Beyond the restrictions of this world, beyond the gender norms, beyond the societal definition of wrong and right, beyond the expectations of the world… WHO AM I? Rare are those people who pursue the life they want to pursue. In majority cases, the family, the surroundings do have a certain influence.

The very point I want to make is this. Yes, we are born in a family, we live in a society and thus we have some reponsibilities towards them but we do have some responsibilities towards our own life. The responsibility to make it big the way we want to, the responsibility to live with head held high, the responsibility to break free from those shackles which stop us from flying, the responsibility to discover who we are, the responsibility to be the person we want to be and most importantly, the responsibility to live.

– Paranjaya Mehra

 

IMG_20151004_140018

So will you be…

Standing in the waters of life, you stare with eyes wide open. Your mind asks you things you don’t have an answer to.  “Why were you taken?”

A noisy tide strikes with full force on your legs, as if it is trying to convey to you that I take away with me whatever comes in my path. You realise may be you were standing in the tide’s path and so you were taken.

Their love for swayed away with the tides, was gone with the whirling winds… The pain of a lost love leaves you broken. Are your loved ones something you change daily?

That pain of having something within you shattered to the core makes you wonder what people go through when tides wash away all they have! Their loved ones, their lives. That village  on the southern tip which was washed away with the tides is now engulfed in deathly silence… The same silence which now haunts you too. Change is a bastard.

The village lost the people who loved it. You lost the one you love. The village, without them, will never be the same again. You, without your loved one, will never be the same again. Still as the days pass The silent sea will always ask, why do you wish to stop? Why do you wish to wait? Learn, after every tragedy, we have the special gate! 

The wet sands got dry as the people wiped their cry only to reincarnate their days with better ways. You know one day someone will come and treat the village as it’s own. You know one day there will laughter in every street. You know one day the village will proudly say.. “I’m loved”

So will you be


Can a medicine poison you to death?

There lies beneath everyone’s soul a hidden reality… A reality of their own which they carefully guard from the world, sometimes even from themselves. What we don’t readily express to anyone during our day conversations, comes running out from our mouth during the night time. We happily spill the beans regarding our deepest secrets, our wildest desires and what not.

I wonder, what is our reality, who are we? What we pretend to be during the day, is that our reality, or what we guard from everyone during the day, is that the real us?

What leaves me in amazement is the thought that if given a choice, in complete control of our senses, will we ever say to those people during the day what we do comfortably spill out during the late night conversations?

They are a poison, a poison for your soul. What you so ferociously guard from the world during the day, you serve it to them on a platter during the night.They are a medicine, a medicine for your  soul. What you don’t confess, don’t express during the day, you shout it out to the world during the night.

 I say… Think about it… Can a medicine poison you to death?

Run baby run

Screenshot_2015-08-12-00-48-24

Running in the rat race = Living life

If this is the equation on which your life is based, don’t you think it’s high time to change it? An undergraduate degree from a reputed college followed by another posh post graduation degree from a well known college finally culminating into a well paid job in an MNC! Is this what we call “living”?

A two page CV costs us 20-30 years of our lives and sometimes even more. Having received a degree and a well paid job, is this how you define living? We do understand that we won’t take that degree from XYZ place to our grave. We won’t take money along. What we will take along are the blessings of those we leave behind calling us a noble, a loving soul. Experiences build a loving soul! Fat pay package doesn’t, until you plan to spend it judiciously on you and others.

Sit back. Breathe. Don’t run simply because you are asked to run from day one. Lying on your death bed and realising that running in this race wasn’t your call and something else was doesn’t look like a good idea. Why not take time out, find your calling and compete to be the best in that? That’s living… Doing what we love to, not what we are told to.

A story of clouded dreams.

Illustrative image of girl playing with helium balloons at park

On a cloudy day, a happy young girl is making the most of her childhood days in the park. Unaware and protected from the problems faced in this big bad world, she is running around happily with colourful balloons in her hand.

Sita, a 13 year old girl works as a maid in that colony. Today, she is late for work and thus is running as fast as she can to reach her pay master’s house in time otherwise, the lady who lives in the house with kids of Sita’s age will scold her badly.

It is rightly said that there is a different age and time at which each and every person shoulders the responsibilities that fall on him/her. On the contrary, some people due to circumstances need to stand up to the responsibilities even when they are too young and naive for them. Sita, a 13 year old school drop out was contributing to the income of her family of seven so that they don’t sleep hungry.

As she was running, she passed the park in which the girl was playing. The colorful balloons caught her sight and she stopped. Sita hadn’t heard of dreams, she didn’t know what they were. She got no time to dream. Still, at that moment when she saw the balloons, she felt the urge to fly in the sky like them. She felt the urge to touch the sky, shine like a star. She felt the urge to break the shackles of responsibilities she was caught in and live her childhood  to the fullest. All she could do was feel these thoughts. Like earlier, she could give no words to what she was feeling. She knew no words. The thundering of the clouds and the downpour brought Sita back to her reality. She rushed to reach the house on time. That day, the rain didn’t just wash away the earth’s dirt, it washed away Sita’s dreams. Dreams which were waiting to be given wings to fly and become a reality. Dreams which were burning inside her.

May be they were never dreams, they were her clouded dreams. 

– Paranjaya Mehra Continue reading “A story of clouded dreams.”

Dare to shine.

All of us can easily go with the crowd, do what others are doing, take the tried and tested roads. Human beings are so amazing that they can dream and pray to shine like a star one day and yet make no efforts for the same! 😀

All of us once in our lives have used Hindi the saying “sher akela ata hai” (the lion never comes with the crowd, it comes alone) but not many of us have dared to be the “sher”!! Going with the crowd, living your life the way others want you to, is that what it takes to shine? Yes, we can’t deny that some of us might taste success by walking on the road on which millions have walked but the true taste of success will come only when we dare to stand alone, dream big, have the courage to stand for those dreams and be the guiding light in this dark world for the millions behind us.

True success is achieved not just when you achieve what you set out for, rather it  is achieved when you raise others to their maximum potential and help them achieve what they have set out for! That feeling of satisfaction is success.

You will never go farther than you think you can, you will never shine brighter than you think you can. So think big because what you think of yourself today will one day be your reality. Make it a big one.

Dare to dream. Dare to shine.

Let’s make life #ourchoice

It’s weird! Yes, that was my reaction the very moment I realised this fact. At least one of this should have been #mychoice. Neither is. That’s sad. We don’t get to choose if we want to be born in this big bad world. We don’t get to choose if we want to die(at least not in India). Once born, our life isn’t ours. Logically it should have been but sadly this isn’t the case. Many lives are attached with ours. To say it the typical Bollywood way, “apne liye na sai, unke liye jee lo.”  Yes, If not for our own self, we have to live for others. We have no other choice. 

When we know that neither the beginning is our choice nor the ending, why not make the journey our choice? Why not live it on our own terms? Why not choose to make the most of what we have? Let’s break the barrier of an ideal life. Let’s not live the same year 80 times and call it a life. Let’s have the guts to take any and every decision on our own and later stand by it no matter what the results turn out to be.

Let’s make sure that the day we bid goodbye to be world, we don’t regret living our life our way. Let’s make sure that when on our death bed, we proudly say, “I lived it my way.”

There are many who life “their” life the way they are told to! Let’s be the change! Let’s make the difference. 🙂

Love! Laugh! Live! ❤

The test of time

Cleaning your shelf isn’t always a bad idea. Sometimes, you find hidden treasures. That day, Payal found one – an old photograph. After a single glance at it, she could recall everything about it. It was a class photograph clicked in 4th standard! With her in the photograph was Ria, her better half! 

Almost 9 years have passed, but even today, Payal clearly remembers the day she met Ria. It was Day 1, standard 4th.

“Can I sit here?” Payal had asked of she could sit on the empty chair lying next to Ria. With this, began their beatiful journey. Days started passing by and time started strengthening their bond. From the day they met, 5 years had passed. Time made them understand each other well. Both of them were very fond of each other. All through these years, they used to come to school together and even go back together. They spent a major part of their day together. Whenever need arised, they used to be there for each other.

They shared laughter, they shared tears, they shared secrets, they shared memories.

Ria told Payal that within 2 months she will be shifting to a new place with her family and thus will be leaving school. None of them at that time took this seriously because somewhere they knew that no matter how far away they stay, the will always be together.

9th standard had started and Ria had left the school. Payal could feel Ria’s absence every single second. A simple “I miss you” was not enough to describe what Payal was feeling. They were in touch but a telephonic conversation is no replacement for a face to face conversation. After Ria left, Payal never shared anything about herself, her life with anybody. Ria was the only one with whom Payal was her own self.

Time took it’s toll. Academic pressure took over, things started changing. Slowly and gradually, they were busy in their lives. Yes, both of them were trying their best to be in touch but something was changing. Their conversations now reduced to a simple “hello, how are you?” THAT’S IT.With memories of happy days spent together, both of them moved forward in their lives. Somehow, they lost each other’s contact number which meant that now they were no more in touch.

Even today Payal  remembers those 2 years when both of them were not in touch. She clearly remembers that how much she used to miss Ria on her birthday! How she wanted to share everything with Ria. How at times she used to pray to God that Ria be safe n sound. 

Every test comes to an end. It was time for the test of their friendship to end. They had passed it with flying colours. Payal somewhere had accepted the fact that Ria was no more a part of her life. God had something else in store. 

10th November, 2015. 8 pm

Payal answered up the call on her phone.

“Hello!” she said.

“Hello, may I speak to Payal please?” came the reply.

These words were enough for Payal to understand the voice behind them. Tears of happiness started flowing from her eyes.

The call went on for 1 hour 40 minutes and was followed by an hour of texting. 2 years is a long time to be shared with someone in almost 2 hours. At the end of the call, they decided to meet.

Meet, and never leave each other’s side ever again. ❤

Yes, we can say that friendships are made in heaven. It is on earth that they face the test of time.